There was a time in my life that, while traveling with my band across the country, I wanted to be addicted to something.
Now before any of you get on your soapbox/high horses, I ask of you to just bare with me and indulge my seemly assinine desires. Just for a minute.
Before I broke “edge”, I wasn’t even curious about drugs and alcohol. I had seen some of my friends go through it, and it messed up some of their lives pretty bad. And of course I was always taught that addiction is bad - a chemical dependency was something no one should have.
Years later, after I had renounced my straight edge - I tried smoking cigarettes. I wanted to feel what it was like to have this urge, this craving. But I couldn’t get addicted. So I gave that up. At this point I had been drinking moderately, and even that too failed to bring me to ever feel a “want” or “need” for alcohol.
It wasn’t til recently that a friend pointed out to me that my body IS addicted to something - food ! Of course ! Hunger pangs and the sensation of a full stomach were signs of a natural addiction.
But still, I wanted to know more. And finally, I think I’ve finally found something I am addicted to - playing music.
For the 1/2 hour or hour + sets I do, I feel only joy. My mind and body joined together and focused on the notes and rhythm. And it moves me. Physically. Emotionally. It’s a natural high.
It’s the one true thing I hold sacred in my life that will never disappoint. I am a slave for it. I disregard my personal,social,financial,and romantic plans just so I can go out and play and get my fix.
That is my addiction. It consumes me. And every facet of my day-to-day life. And I think , and any good junkie might agree, that if you get in between me and my addiction, that you will meet a fate most unfortunate.